We could feed the whole world with the crumbs from our bread

It was twenty-six degrees last night and most of us were warm beneath the blankets in our bed. Some of our biggest worries as our head hit the pillow came from a txt or some other form of cowardly drama. Most of us slept well. Our stomachs were full from not one, but several meals we ingested yesterday and most in excess. We were full. We woke this morning and showered using enough water to sustain a family in Africa for a week and we were upset if it wasn’t hot enough. We left the shower and headed to the closet or dresser where some stressed over not having enough to wear… while in reality most of our closets could clothe several families who have nothing. That’s where my part of the story picks up. I was standing there looking at clothes and began to be broken. In one moment I realized how selfish and materialistic I am… It really started a few weeks ago though when I was standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes and became disgusted with myself when I thought that some kid in Africa would love to drink my dirty dishwater because it wouldn’t kill them. It’s these two experiences that have begun to shape my mind in a new direction, but there are a few many people who have brought me to this place.

Craige, you slept in an old train car last night downtown with no heater. You have made getting out of bed every Wednesday at 4 something worth it. This morning was the first morning you didn’t start the fire in…… well, no one knows how long. Some of the guys were worried. Frank assured us that the “professor is fine”. Hope to see you next Wed.

Mema, for giving your food away or not eating until you are certain that everyone else is full. For doing without so much so you could give to so many.

Dud, for taking a pair of gloves off your hands in 20 degree weather and giving them to someone you don’t know, not because you had to, but just so he would be warm.

The 5,000 kids that die every day from unsanitized water. That’s 2 million a year.

The 192 (not counting the two homeless shelters, hospitals, jails, and rehab) homeless people in Albany that face insurmountable odds everyday and keep going.



I sometimes want to be sad when I hang out with my friends downtown, but I am realizing they have so much and I have so little. I take everything for granted. Including God. Just like I stand beneath the flood of clean water every morning. I also stand in the presence of a holy God who desires a relationship, a oneness with me. I am overwhelmed by His goodness and drink it in, but soon leave His presence drawn away with the desire for more stuff. I pray that one day we choke on our excess and vomit it up so that we see how completely depraved we really are and how glorious Christ really is. He has given everything to us. Some He has given some much and to some little, but you have to remember He is the One that said the last will be first, that being weak is being strong, and that if we truly die we can fully live. My hope today in sharing my heart is that you will hear the voice of God breaking through your stuff and reminding you that there is much more. That in Him is fullness of joy and peace that overcomes every conflict. There is rest for the weary and hope for the beaten down. Today, right this minute there is forgiveness of sin and restoration for the soul. I pray that some of us would become poor in His presence so we could know the splendor of being rich in Him, that some of us would thirst today with a desire for Him to quench it and for hunger pains to grip our soul for more, more of the all-satisfying, completely sufficient Christ.

Would you say your full today? Or have you been blinded by so much stuff?
Proverbs 27:7

Dreaming with a broken heart

There’s refuge in Christ. I could really end there and that would be sufficient. I have struggled tonight with whether I should list my past and my sins out… all the dirt, the pain, and the ruin. I was so dirty, so freaking jacked up, a user and abuser of anyone and everyone. I even peddled the gospel if I was in the appropriate crowd, but I refuse to illuminate a horrible past over a precious Savior. I will instead shine light on the cross of Calvary and the glorious gift God gave. My heart breaks tonight knowing that I have friends in my city sleeping with each other, my heart breaks to know that there are some who feel helpless and are contemplating suicide, and my heart yearns for you to know the truth. The truth is simple. It is easy to say and hard to live. God called you out and is calling you out. His work on the cross rendered us forgiven if we would just receive, repent and trust in Him for salvation. Do you realize that part of who God is is omnipresent? That means he is everywhere… EVERYWHERE! When your fooling around, getting slammed, glancing at porn, being lazy, taking advantage of people, and lying He is there, broken by your sin, grieved by your disobedience and ready to wrap you in His arms of love. He is not waiting with condemnation. Not yet at least. He is near tonight and ready to wash you clean, to make you whole in Him through the blood of Jesus. There is no need for excuses in His presence. Just be honest with Him (He knows anyways). I refuse to ramble, but as weird as it is I know your reading this and this for you is an invitation to the table where you’ll find forgiveness, newness and rest covered by the grace of God. If you fit these categories then I wrote for you. I pray for you. I believe God is going to change your life.

The arrogant Christian
The faithful believer
The college and high school student who justifies your drinking with (the bible doesn’t say it’s a sin)
The beautiful young lady who dresses to show her body because she has no self worth
The guy who takes advantage of a girl
The girl who takes advantage of a guy
The proud
The homosexual
The sexually active
The fearful
The faithful
The saved
The lost
Myself
The inconsistent
The workaholic
The desperate
The pastors
The worship leaders
The president
The soon to be saved
I don’t write for popularity, I am casting the net so some would be caught in the grip of grace.

I stinkin love you

Tj

Matt Johnson, Andy Blankenship, and Chase Ostrander... Heretics?

I want to take a moment and shine the light on some questionable characters that are in the Macon county area.

I will start with Matt Johnson. He and This other guy Chase have started a church in Americus Georgia and are focusing on unity within the family, while teaching biblical principles and sound doctrine. I am confused on one thing... How come when men of God step up to the plate and begin to lead their families and their church with integrity, instilling values and godliness in their children are they then blasted for being heretics. Have we lost our minds? Really! Sometimes you want the fire of God to come down and consume idiots that exalt denomination above the Goodness and Supremacy of Christ. There will be a day when Christ comes to reclaim His bride and all the world will flatten themselves to the ground surrendering their pre-conceived ideas of Christ. He is neither Baptist or Methodist, He is not Calvinist nor Armenian, He was not created. He will come back and settle the debate. He will end the fuss and He will judge the rank sinner along with the arrogant theologian. He will also shine light on the busybodies who refuse to keep their mouths shut about men of God. He will bring joy that never ends and forgiveness eternal. He is not coming back like a lamb lead to the slaughter. He coming back as the Lion of Judah. I write with chills thinking of the majesty we will behold in His face. He is. I hope that I don't sound to offensive, but if your offended it's may be because you need to be. So, knowing all this about Christ I would say some should repent. If Matt and Chase are heretics then Christ will impose the correct authority on their lives, something I believe will not happen because I am certain they are neither heretics nor hypocrites. Do I agree with them on everything? No. Do I trust them? Yes. Are they my brothers in Christ? Absolutely. Will I pray that God has mercy on your sole for a minutes slander of these men? Absolutely. That's enough of that. On to Andy.

Andy Blankenship, in my opinion is bad baptist. Or at least thats one perception of him by some and here is the reason why. He would rather see the doctrine of Christ exalted through the preaching of the gospel than any denomination lifted in their own glory. His agenda is not the convention, it is being lead by the spirit of God and moving with compassion. Andy is my brother and I know the dirt on him and his life... here it is. He is abrasive, honest, passionate about the gospel, committed to his family and has sacrificed for his church. He has the gift of a thousand seat sanctuary and shares it with a faithful few in small-town south Georgia. He evangelized an entire band of nobodies and showed them they could be something in Christ. He has fathered an amazing daughter and is raising her in the admonition of the Lord. He loves his wife MK with an unbelievable passion and godliness. He is a soldier in the army of Christ and spends his time exalting the goodness of Christ and riches of His glory. If that makes him a bad baptist then I would never ever want the name baptist attached to me or my faith.

In honesty these guys will probably not like me posting this, but my aim is to illuminate the glory of Christ in them and to say thanks for being godly mentors. I will start posting blogs this evening.


Tj

What's your story

The fog of insecurity and uncertainty seems to clear for the moment as the sun rises from the east to say good morning, to kiss the earth with the reminder that we have been given another day to cherish or squander. One more day to live, love and share the gift. To be honest the word gift seems almost elementary to use when talking about salvation from a God who owns the universe, created gravity and defeated death, but that is just what it is. A gift that defies all fairness and common logic, a gift that we neither deserved nor earned, but have been offered none the less. A gift unmatched by any other, sure a man can die for another, but to die for the whole world...knowing that the majority would reject your existence and try to completely discredit your deity. Like I said it is an unmatched, untouchable gift… it’s more than just a gift of salvation, but it’s a gift of freedom and life in Christ. I wish this was my constant thought pattern and that my heart yearned for soul after soul to be won the kingdom constantly, but truthfully I find myself blurring the lines of mediocrity and complacency from time to time with a systematic type religion that keeps the boxes checked, but is devoid of passion…. And believe me I need passion to survive. I want a fire to stir in me that brings me to my knees in such reverence and respect for the glory of God. I mean, I want to feel the weight of the work on the cross and be satisfied in the fact that if He never does another thing nor says another word that that bloody cross was enough and that very vacant tomb completely sufficient to sustain me. I want you and I to live in such a sense of urgency that it is though we can smell the borders of hell when we keep company with the lost and with everything we have desire to be the wall between them and that horrible pit reserved for the devil and his angels. I am in no way hoping that you climb on board a evangelistic explosion. We have had enough of those that leave people looking for a new way to share their faith two years later. I am simply hoping and wishing that you would share “your faith” and that being what Christ has done in and through you, the reason why you worship and sing, the reason why you dance or easily overcome things that would typically be tragedy or the reason you have joy unspeakable. If you have no story, no time when God stepped in and took over your story to make it His own then you should consider the possibility that you are lost and need God to save you. The good news is that He has made a way…



Heres a good place to start
“God this is your story… I so desperately desire to be a part of it. Bend me. Break me. Do whatever it takes to let your light shine from me. Reduce me that you and only you may be seen. Save me from this world and it’s passions, save me from myself and my passions, save me from my sin and it’s consequences and let me fall more in love with you every day”

John 3
Titus 3:4-7
Ephesians 4:22-32
Galatians 2:21

Arkansas a looker

We are headed toward sixty-five. Everyone for the moment is still awake… silent, but awake. We have spent the last four days in Berryville Arkansas and to be honest I am sad to be saying goodbye to people I consider family. I want to take a minute and thank Ricky Sowell and his wife Megan for opening their home and sharing the love and hospitality of Christ with us. They are not a couple who speak Jesus with their lips, but examples by exhausting their lives for the cause of Christ. (I’m praying He sends you to China). Jp is for sure the greatest kid in Arkansas and I am blessed to know you guys.
We came for a three-day youth revival to lead worship and share the most awesome thing that has ever been given to us… the gospel. It was glorious remembering it is not about us, but completely and supremely about Him. Times of worship were pretty much beautiful with the presence of God resting like a blanket and the voice of God ringing like a trumpet. I know for me these past few days have been a reminder to not only know Christ, but to be intimately devoted to Him and His call. (The sun is coming up over the Ozarks, I wish you guys could see this). The spectacle of creation here is so much more elaborate than at home. It’s like God wanted to cram a million rolling hills and breathtaking views into one state. Well done.
I wont bore you with talk of turkey houses, horses, ice crème sandwiches and golf, but I will tell you that in all these things I could see the wonder, majesty and uniqueness of our God. I guess you could say it was like taking a step back to child-like faith and in that taking one step closer towards Him. One thing is certain and with this I will close. When you can’t He can, when you don’t He does, and when you need He is. There will be more to come on that last sentence soon, but it’s six in the morning and I had four hours sleep last night so my eyes are heavy and the sway of truck and trailer are about to do me in.
Ricky, Megan, and J.p thank you again for making me part of your family, you guys are truly a valuable part of my life.

"Let the world feel the weight of who you are, let them deal with it"

“Tj, you go overboard with Jesus”.

I want to write humbly… seriously out of love and compassion laying aside myself and letting the love and light of Christ to shine through. How can we, when we know the horrifying experience Jesus endured for us not go overboard with Him? I know I don’t hold the popular opinion and that I am aggressive or in your face and I say hell and sin, but it is not for fun… It’s not because I want to be offensive just for kicks.
I remember when my grandfather would talk to me about God and Jesus and how much He loved me and I remember how I loathed him for it. I went to church… spoke occasionally… played the part of Christian and was completely and altogether lost. I would despise those who talked about the bible as a thing to live by and when they spoke of holiness, I checked out… but then it happened. I was completely ruptured from my sin; I realized that I was a poser, a fake that knew about God with my head but was so far form Him with my heart. I guess that’s why I am overboard now. I sit here with tears swelling in my eyes when I think of who I was and how much I did against God. I was a lying, cheating, hateful, dirty God-hater and He picked me up, wrapped me in His arms and washed me white as snow. He forgave me for things I thought unforgivable. How could I not in the midst of all this grace be completely overboard about Him? How could I not offer my life as a vessel for Him to mold and change and break if need be? He died, I mean really bled out His blood… what is overboard? I don’t know, but I do know he deserves it… every bit of awkward silences and hateful words from people who don’t even really know us. Every bit of ridicule from your family and laughter from the world is small in comparison to His beautiful gift. Tell Steven he was overboard when he stood being stoned to death because he loved Jesus. Tell Peter while he walked on the sea towards Him then later asked to be crucified upside down because he didn’t feel worthy to be crucified the same way as Jesus. Tell Martin Luther that as he nailed his view of God to the door of the church. Tell me that I’m overboard when I’m urgent and persistent about my God who saved me and my reply will remain… Yes, yes I am and I hope I never change, ever. I hope that every chance I get to open my mouth I exhaust that opportunity for the cause of Christ, that the passion of the cross and echo of the empty tomb never ever escape my conversation.

Now you feel the weight of who I am… now you have to deal with it.

wrestle between remedy and revolution, it's painfully beautiful

“How lonely sits the city, that was full of people”, is a line from the book of lamentations that stir’s in me so many emotions about the church in America as a whole. When I say church I am not referring to the bride of Christ totally, but am incorporating the building in which we corporately gather to worship. Churches in America were once a place of honesty and integrity. They were a hospital to the broken and weary, a place for lives to be mended and for the lost to be found. Sadly, now they scarcely survive amongst a barrage of TV preachers who have turned our faith into a joke with their five-dollar prayer penny and vials of holy water. There is also the constant assault of modern philosophy and new age religion that insist that there is no absolute truth. All the while the church has laid down the fight claiming to turn the other cheek… truthfully they are filled with terrified, spineless men and women who will not take a stand or with those who believe in part that we have to change our view of God and sin as the culture changes, as if to say God has become soft in these last days and some sin has become ok, both of which are a fallacy. The sad reality for the daring believer looking for encouragement to be holy, to actually be full of integrity and live the gospel is that the pulpits of America are largely littered with men who have traded the sometimes hard to swallow truth of God for a pacifying lie. They have coaxed the bride of Christ into believing that being saved means you have money and no worries, or that it’s a ticket to instant happiness and pain free persecution, that it is a license to sin. In short, they have lowered their standard of preaching to meet the world’s standard of living. The result is dieing churches and powerless preachers.
The repercussion for such a gutless act by so-called men of God is a generation who feels no need for God or the church. There is no standard of holiness or righteous living to be respected so they see no difference, no need for a Savior. My heart breaks at the idea that we have one side of faith saying we were made to sin so just do it and God will forgive you, while the other holds a list of rules in which an angry, mean God will enforce without any patience or mercy… both have partial tainted truth, but neither contain the honest beauty of our God. Where have we lost it? I look every Sunday and see a church that is consumed with everything but pleasing the Father, rather they are fully concerned with pleasing themselves. The horrifying thing about the position the bride of Christ has taken is that she has as a whole disconnected herself from her first love. If for a moment we are concerned with numbers, our agenda, or basically anything other than obedience and exaltation of our gracious sin-atoning God then we have traded a beautiful romance between Lord and lover for a systematic process in which self-righteousness is our fruit and dry religion our reward.
My mind and heart wrestle somewhere between remedy and revolution. I mean. I know Jesus gave Himself so that we could be free, so that there could be true reconciliation, but to watch the church wallow in un-renounced self centered sin while claiming devotion to God makes me sick with indignation. Lit be understood that I don’t for a second think myself to be perfect or to have “arrived”. I simply believe that God is calling out to His bride in desperation. Can you imagine His pain? He looks down on His creation and sees them satisfying themselves on and with everything other than Him. It is a constant arrow into the heart of God and we are the archers. “You are not enough God… not today” we say that with our relentless pursuit of more things, the perfect relationship, the perfect job or even so called “godly living”. Some actually choose to carry out a list of rules rather than be romanced by their Creator. This form of church and religion has left our generation passionless and unwilling to give their lives for Christ, unwilling to be loved by God.
I yearn for those of you who were once princes and princesses in the kingdom, but now live like slaves… I would that you revolt, it’s ok to not be ok with church when it takes away from the fame and passion and beauty and glory of our God. I know if you have read this far then you too are wrestling somewhere between remedy and revolution… I believe they are the same… that it is impossible to have one and not the other. So go, those of you who really are princes and princesses, joint heirs, sons and daughters of a living God and reclaim what is yours and mine, reclaim the relationship the “church” has dumb down to a list of rules, reclaim your first love and know there will be casualties, that it will cost, but oh what a worthy price if even our lives are lost.